for all that i have ever done but shouldnt have,
for all that i didnt do but should have,
for all that i may do,
i am sorry.
but sorry doesnt cover it, i know,
and it has been repeated
over and over
many times before
and more from now

i am at fault, i admit as much
and the guilt hounds me every waking moment of my days
you think when i see you, i am not reminded
of the magnimosity of my mistake
u think i do not cry?
in my solitude, tears fill my eyes
the guilt, the sorrow

thoughtless you call me, perhaps i am
insensitive? maybe.
call me callow even, whatever suits your fancy
i will not be angered,
for the convict should not be angry
at the victim of his crimes
as a criminal sentenced to his suffering
i will accept mine fate with downcast eyes

i am not perfect
i have my shortcomings
i never said i didnt
these are some of them
but let it not be said that i did not try
i do try
despite everything
i do
i try not to show the frustrations building up inside me
i work, and do nothing and it bothers me
i study, and i learn nothing and it bothers me
i am tired
i am stressed out
but i do try

i try to understand the inanities of data com
i try to absorb the depth of java
i try to find bugs and log those stupid ptrs that get quirked or deffered anyway
i try to research about anything and everything related to our project
i try to read these jungle of data and information presented upon me
i try to visualize and plan the layout of this project
i try to help in as much as i can those that ask for my help
i try on all these, among others
and most of all,
i do try to do my share in the research of this project
i do try to be there when you need me
as i should be

human as i am, i do get tired
i do get stressed
i do get frustrated

i dont know what led me to act the way i did,
i just want to say, that i never meant to
i know i said i will be there
i try not to make promises i cant keep
and i truly meant to be there
i wanted to be there
but i wasnt
and its all there is to it
i made a mistake
and its all there is to it
no amount of excuses and apologies
could ever undo what has been done

i would truly understand if we have to end it here
i just wish we didnt have to
peace!