what confuses me the most
is the way you handled knowing
how I truly feel about you...
sometimes it would seem
that you wanted to stay away,
sometimes its likely that
you're gonna stick around...
which ever way,
I'm still a thousand times
grateful for the company...~~plum~~

as im writing this, im approaching my 22 hour of no sleep. been onlyn since 11 last nyt and april and jms have come and gone.i dont want to go home until maybe after 4. i dont really know why. all my plans for today have gone down the drain and i no longer feel like leaving the house after i leave this office. everywhere i look in this room, theres a reminder of the sugba thing tomorrow. boxes of sauce, basins of meat, tshirts, flyers, blah blah blah.

i dont get it. i dont get her. i thought she wanted it. she acted like she didnt. and she asked me if i will. irritating. whatever. maybe she asked out of... whatever.
damn it. ive made different plans. now these plans wont push through and so im left with nothing to do. i need rest anyway, but that is besides the point. my point is, i schedule my plans as they come. if i have something planned, i rarely change it for anything else unless i have to, or i can do so with agreement from related people.

and i have. so i couldnt just change it. until they did. now my schedules all wrong and i dont know what im doing. people! so hard to understand. cant understand simple order of things. fine then!if you dont want me, i cant help you. tell me to leave, and by God, you can have a whole world to yourself.

whatever. im sleepy. got to go home now. goodbye!

to plum

i would just to come straight out and express my greatest thanks to van for her wonderful words of love and life. it really brightens up my days. i hope you dont mind, i took the liberty of placing some of them here, and also a link to your site.

please tell me if you object in any way.

thanks plum

doldrums

so what happened?
all in all, it has been a very insightful,
would i guess suffice, few days.
ive learned a lot
things that i should know but didnt
or didnt want to know
no matter, in the end,
ive been through it all
and ive learned
hopefully i shall grow from it,
but i think not
thats wishful thinking
as ropes begin to unravel,
and the wall begins to crumble,
its heartening to know,
that sometimes,
theres something you can hang on to
even for just a while
one problem is solved, as it can be
another remains.
and whats left is harder
as the problem is known only to me
and it is only my problem
one way of solving it
would be to let it go
but its not so simple
when its staring you right in the face
all i can say
is that if i ever did anything wrong
against you or what not
i am truly sorry
and this
i cannot act on which i do not know
tell me

This is fun!

1) Go to Google.com. (www.google.com)
2) Type in "weapons of mass destruction" but don't hit the enter button.
3) Instead, hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button next to the normal Google
"Search" button.
4) An "ERROR MESSAGE" appears. READ THE ERROR MESSAGE.

Someone at Google has a political sense of humor.

CARPE MOMENTO!

seize the moment!

what do i really know about tomorrow?
what do i really know about today?
nothing really
all i know is that today, i am here
i am where i am, and no where else
what do i have to live for tomorrow
if i cant get through this moment
now is the only time in the world
there is no other time
tomorrow never comes.
for when tomorrow arrives,
it ceases to become tomorrow
and starts to become today.
so tomorrow never comes
every moment is fleeting
so live each moment ad you want it to be
not as you think it should be

but know

someones always watching

"Love can sometimes be magic, but magic can sometimes be just an illusion."

in all the days that I have lived
It had never occurred to me how much
i have wasted my time
on things without purpose
now that i have grown
i pray that wisdom might permit me
to live a life for someone else
and to let others see
the love that God gave me
~plum~

a cry

A silent cry
before I depart
into the real world of pain...

I AM HERE...

to be or not to be

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

arghhh!!!!!!!!!

does everyone in this world hate me one way or another???
i know i irk everyone once in every while
i know that i do so many stupid things
i know i make a whole lot of mistakes
i know that i am not one to be liked
i know all that
wouldnt you think so?
but is it too much to expect a little consideration???
i do try.
i really do
i know that i cant please everyone
i but i cant try to do so while i can
within means of course.
if you dont like me go ahead and say it to my face
if you got something to say, go ahead and say it
i can take it
what the hell do you think i am???
scared?
hell yes!
but i will face it to my last dying breath
than run away, scared, cowardly.
that is shame
i may be many things,
but i have my honor.
and i intend to keep it.
i know that i am tactless, unthinking, and indolent
but what i think is right, i do
if you think im wrong,
challenge me
if i lose a challenge
i have the dignity to accept it
i learn when i am at fault
there is no man in this earth who i cant face with my head held high
no one.

it starts... again!

ok so again, classes will again go fullswing
am i ready??? as i'll ever be
i can't wait for it to start
at last, i have something definite to do
too much in fact

what the research thing?
absolutely no idea on what to do
but i'll deal
i always have
don't know how,
but i will

take it one at a time
who knows, maybe i'll die tomorrow
and this will all be history

me no like da classmates on many of them classes
they're too conceited
and the worst disease that a man can get
is conceit

anyway, we shall see
whether we like it or not,
we'll see

can't wait for july.
so i can finally get on with my plans
plans that ussually don't pull through
but hey, things could change!

right???

whats the worst that can happen? i can only kill me!

99 for a moment

if you got a hundred years to live, 99 would seem like a moment
how could anyone afford to live that long
rising fares, prices, smoke
what is there to live for
people are not the people they use to be
change and "maturity". Hah!
people change. rarely mature.
everything and everyone is getting harder to understand.
to work is to tire
the rest is the same
whats there to live for?
99 is a moment
i dont think i even want to reach that
i dont think i even want to see tomorrow
or maybe im just 99 for a moment

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

This will blow your mind...!


Just do it - don't cheat!!!!!!!!!!!!


Try this its actually quite good.


But don't cheat!


Count the number of F's in the following text:


FINISHED FILES ARE THE
RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS




Managed it?


Scroll down only after you have counted them!












OK?


How many?







Three?









Wrong, there are six - no joke!



Read again!




FINISHED FILES ARE THE
RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS



The reasoning is further down...

The brain cannot process the word "OF".


Incredible or what?

Anyone who counts all six F's on the first go is a genius
Three is normal.



Now forward this to all of your friends and back to the person who sent
it to you, but for the subject write if you got it right or wrong. And
please don't lie because it will spoil all the fun of this forward!

an ode to jessica zafra

Message: at last those egotistical caucasians have
fallen under the sway of philippine rule. no
longer may we contend with frigging miss universe
pageants hoping that another dumbass pinoy chick
falls on her heels and gain us a place in the top
ten.

nope. im sure uv already witnessed the grand
scheme hatched by the pinoys in american idol.
now, those puny americans have witnessed the
metaconcerted effort of the pinoy in the most
powerful form of mind coercion---entertainment.
not just minor entertainment mind you---im
talking hollywood, baby. it was merely third
place, but still---one must contend with what one
gets. and we have reached the inner gates so to
speak.

whereas bin laden has to blow up those twin
towers in new york to gain worldwide infamy, we
merely send a waif of a child into hollywood to
divide the american peoples. where this fugitive
arab has to acquire, train, feed and clothe his
spies---we simply vote our "american idol" and
let her divide and conquer. with pinoy skills
too, proving that you dont need real talent to
gain position into the "top." one simply needs to
know people, and in this female agent's case whom
we shall designate as agent J, people with
texting capabilities.

o great mentor, i submit to you my abilities:
the metafaculties of julian may, the ironies of
joseph heller, and the weirdness of stephen king
as well as the eroticism of ann rice for i
require such things. hearken to the cry of one
who serves you faithfully! i await the day i may
stand by your side and join upon this great war.
for the day of the battle is imminent when we
must take arms. you with your broadsword, and i,
with my japanese kitana blade with a made in
taiwan label in the inner sanctum of its hilt.

answer my call, o great one!

whatta

what a day.

tere's party.
jms party.
and then some.

what a day.

FEELINGS (ONE OF A KIND)

I feel love, but I cannot show it
And cannot say it
I feel fear, but
I was frightened out of showing it long ago
I feel sad, but
My eyes have forgotten how to cry
I feel everything is my problem
To help to solve, but
My help is not wanted
I say things I feel I should, but
They are taken the wrong way
I feel I must show friendship, but
That is not wanted
I feel I can help, but
I am pushed away
And locked out
Because
I don't belong
I am lonely
For I am different
Distant
And one of a kind.
Copyright© Myia Shepherd of Brisbane Australia

POEM OF LIFE

Life is but a stopping place,
A pause in what's to be,
A resting place along the road,
to sweet eternity.
We all have different journeys,
Different paths along the way,
We all were meant to learn some things,
but never meant to stay...
Our destination is a place,
Far greater than we know.
For some the journey's quicker,
For some the journey's slow.
And when the journey finally ends,
We'll claim a great reward,
And find an everlasting peace,
Together with the lord.
Author Unknown

troubled waters

rivers are fast becoming past in this place. at least those worth commenting about. and seeing a strange sight of a river flowing hurriedly down the path of obscurity, such is our feeling of great elation that we hear the call of the swiftly flowing waters beckon us to immerse ourselves for just a fleeting moment on its cool and caressing embrace. picturesque as it is, waters are not safe, especially for those who don't know how to swim. foolish it is to temp fate, even for swimmers, good as they are. for why swim in troubled waters, when there lies a perfectly good bridge right ahead. save your swimming for when there is none the waters are not as treacherous.

reality flash! it probably dirty anyway.