happy?

Would you be happier by the corrs

Have you ever wonder where the story ends, and how it all began, I do (I do, I do, I do, I do)
Did you ever dream you were the movie star with popcorn in your hand, I did (I did, I did, I did)
Do you ever think you're someone else inside, when no one understands you are (you are)
And wanna disappear inside a dream but never wanna wake, wake up
Then you stumble on tomorrow, and trip over today

(Chorus)
Would you be happier if you were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
You're gonna be just fine (gonna be just fine)

Are you not afraid to tell your story now, when everyone is done it's too late (too late, too late)
Was everything you've ever said or done not the way you planned, mistake
So you promised that tomorrow, be different than today

(Chorus)
Would you be happier if you were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
You're gonna be just fine I think you're gonna be just fine

You're gonna be just fine
So don't worry baby
You're racing for tomorrow, not finished with today

Would you be happier if you were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
I think you're gonna be just fine

Would we be happier if we were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if we played a bigger part
Would we be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
I think we're gonna be just fine I think you're gonna be just fine
Don't worry baby Gonna be just fine
Don't worry honey Gonna be just fine
Don't worry baby Gonna be just fine


what does it mean to be happy? is happiness laughing with a sea of people? is it getting what you want to get? is happiness having money to spend? or is it having someone to talk to?

what, pray tell, does happiness construe? I laugh amid a crowd, yet I am not happy. I got what I wanted, still I am not happy. I spent what money I had and yet, I still am not happy. And what is there to talk about anyway?

You can talk the world out of meaning, still that will mean nothing. so you did this, and you have that. oh and you've seen this and you been where but happiness it does not buy

maybe I am just way out of my league here and maybe that league is already small in the first place but I find it hard to take the multiplicities of people. understand, easy, but take it, uhmmm no. I try not to think about it

People I find are jumpy, from one exitement to the next, one scene to another, people never settle. they always do move on

It's hard to keep up. I prefer life at a much more leisurely pace. to live life with no presumptions at all. just relax, take it easy, and let it come, all on its own good time.

but even that is hard to do now. I find that the world has changed too much around me. and at times, I can no longer understand. I have been left behind, literally, and figuratively

it's amazing what happens in a few months, much more a couple of years. while I was in great form then,
I am but a shell now. two long years have taken its toll on me

I don't deny a single bit of it. each moment is my past, and I am those moments, piece by piece, molded together to form me. but at times, I do regret the me that I did not become. I always enjoyed the little things. Flowers, rain, watching a movie...

but that is few now... and far between. I can't remember the time that I spent just walking, by myself and in deep though, much as I did before. I have lost myself in my own sea. and I can no longer understand. and I am no longer happy. which isn't saying that I was always happy before, just that I understood why.

but I digress, just the same
who cares?

if you understood me, great!
if not, that makes the both of us.