i think i know what my problem is. i am too clingy. if something gets into my mind, i can't let it go until i find closure. i dont really know what this closure that i'm looking for is, but i need it nonetheless.
maybe the best solution would be to learn how to let go, not just in the aspects of love and like, but in the things of life as well. maybe i should just return to my carefree days when i cared for nobody but me. when my actions were dictated by no one but me, when i could make my own decisions. i can't anymore. its not that i cant make them. its that i dont want to decide for people who are capable of deciding for themselves. i dont like deciding if my decisions affect the future of others. i dont like to be responsible for others. i am having a hard time as it is taking responsibility for my ownself. but it seems that responsibility is always thorown my way. what is it that they see in me? do they really see me capable of this role? or are they just giving me this since no one else wants it.
but i digress. i wish i could getback to the days when my life was much simpler. when i could be happy in solitude feeling the wonders that the mountain brings. gone are those times. gone are my principles in life, replaced with uncertainty. replaced with hardness. but going back to those days would also mean losing all that i have now. i need closure first before i can do anything.

and closure is coming soon.