Forgive the last post. I don't really care for it any more. Perhaps that is my mistake, i'm too forgetful, too unmindful. i forget practically everything i come across, well not really, but you get the point, don't you? but the thing is, i'm not into details, names, dates, places, they don't mean much to me. i believe i'm more into experiences and processes. perhaps i come off as uncaring, but i'm not really. my heart bleeds for everything that happens to everyone i care for. but we live in a world where feelings must be kept, and emotions must are taboo. i have learned , as i grew up that matters not of this earth are not to be discussed. but if it can't be discussed, how can i understand? how can i live without understanding? always forever, i have been taught that understanding is the key to living life. thats why we study, thats why we do the things we do. we are, or at least i am, hoping to understand my life. but ive found that things i want to understand are really not to be discussed in public. feelings that can't be revealed. thoughts that are private. ideas that are darkened. i can never hope to understand my life this way. do i move on, like this, day after day, unfeeling, devoid, characterless? is it really my course to live my live in a shell, ever hiding, ever keeping to myself. if so, then i am no more than an animal in the wild. so careless, so alone. perhaps thats what i am!